Being in a long-term relationship is wonderful, but if you feel like things between the sheets are getting a little bit dull or that there is a general lack of intimacy or disconnect, we are here to tell you that we get it.

We know that keeping the passion alive in the bedroom while dealing with the rest of life isn’t exactly easy, but it’s also not impossible and you and your partner deserve to enjoy every inch of each other!  

Sex should not be an obligatory once a week, check the box exercise. Here are 9 ways to bring a little more excitement back into the bedroom.

A LITTLE APPRECIATION GOES A LONG WAY

We’re not talking about showing appreciation for the usual acts of service around the house ie thanks for helping with the kids or sorting out the groceries. We’re talking about things you express that make them know you actually see them. For example, how much you admire how they’ve dealt with a certain situation, or perhaps how great they look in that pair of jeans or how super gorgeous they look when they find something amusing.   

We all know how good it feels when someone tells us what they most appreciate about us, so try not assume that your partner knows how much you appreciate certain things about them, TELL THEM. This goes a long way to deepening your connection and levels of intimacy.

Grab your phone or your partners face now and let them know!

HAVE MORNING SEX AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK

What a great way to start the day! Energised and full of confidence, knowing that your partner has just had the same experience and is grinning at the mere thought?  It’s no wonder that it’s been scientifically proven that morning sex is great for you, other than also being super convenient. It’s a win this one!

COMMUNICATE WHAT FEELS GOOD

You know the age old saying that communication is the best lubrication? Its been around forever because it’s true. Sometimes we feel bad to suggest where something in the bedroom needs working on, but keeping quiet doesn’t serve you, your relationship or your levels of satisfaction. There are ways of communicating this, of course, and once you start openly discussing it you’ll be surprised to hear what your partner has to say too. Sometimes these discussion in themselves can be a great turn on, so get talking about it!

USE TECHNOLOGY TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

We love sexting. It sets the mood for what’s to come and builds up enough excitement for later. Surprisingly enough, the days you just don’t feel like doing it, and do, turn out to be the days you get yourself out of a rut and get your own mood back on track. Win, win.

STAY A FLIRT

A certain amount of flirting got you and the object of your affection together in the first place, so why stop now? Flirting is playful and fun, grab their butt when you walk past them or wink at them when you’re out somewhere, whatever floats your boat, just remind them so that they know you’re still hot for them, even when you’re not in the bedroom.

SURPRISE YOUR PARTNER

Even those people who are adamant about not liking surprises enjoy surprises when it comes to sex. Why not welcome your partner home to a sex-related surprise? Whether you tell them not to say a word as you pull the clothes from their body, or greet them with nothing but a sly grin, it’s fun for both of you. The key here is not to do it too often. Surprises are meant for special occasions.

PLAY IN PUBLIC

When last did you get to third base in a public place? The world is your oyster after all! Of course, if you can’t get to actual third base, get going with some sneaky gadgets while you’re out to dinner, or even visiting friends. If the fear of having your next screaming O in the middle of family lunch is putting you off, then rest assured, toys do exist that cater to every occasion (for example, choosing a vibrating love egg over vibrating panties). Internal stimulation will get you going, but not necessarily all the way. This makes the anticipation that much better. Crazy teasing, saving the pleasing for later.

SHARE YOUR ULTIMATE FANTASIES

Do you know what your ultimate fantasy is, when last did you think about it? As we grow and change so do our fantasies. Discussing this is such a wonderful way to connect with your partner. Once you’ve been in a relationship for a long time and you’ve tackled the awkward stuff you can truly open up. Set time aside to sit down and talk about them and see where you can both take the lead roles in turning fantasy into reality!  Of course, some fantasies can’t be fulfilled, and that’s OK too, because once you start talking about them, you’ll soon realise there are more than just one. You will love that you can do that for your partner… and so will they.

ADD SEX TOYS TO THE MIX

This truly is a great time to be alive because there is no end to the amount of new and exciting toys that exist for some experimental fun. We’ve come a long way in being more comfortable to talk about sex, and it’s OK to bring in a little outside help in the form of toys to enhance your sexual experience.

Not all toys are intimidating and scary, the landscape has rapidly changed, which means that discovering new and extremely satisfying pleasure points, for the both of you, is entirely possible.